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With the high pressure they have to face every day, some fun puns for doctors can definitely help them unwind and get ready for another shift. "While I was in the doctor's waiting room, there was this tiny man, only about six inches tall. Am I a non-competitive inhibitor? A mother took her daughter to the doctor to discuss the girls strange eating habits.All day long she lies in bed and eats yeast and car wax. Patient: Doctor, doctor, Im addicted to brake fluid.Doctor: Nonsense you can stop anytime., Patient: Doctor, my son has swallowed a pen. Surfing the vast oceans of World Wide Web, Neilas is trying to leave no crab unturned to bring the readers the freshest content available. ", 4. He can't ask his patients what is the matter he's got to just know. Grand Est covers 57,433 square kilometres (22,175 sq mi) of land and is the sixth-largest of the regions of France. Here are 20+ radiology memes certain to ease your stress: 1. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Then she looks at its eyes. Two doctors meet at the bar and decide to hook-up. Are you still coughing?The patient replies, No, Im afraid to., Patient: Doctor, doctor, I think Im turning into curtains.Doctor: Pull yourself together!. When the last young nurse said she worked as a nurse at an HMO, St Peter said, "You can go to heaven too." I never could before!'. Q: Does an apple a day keep the doctor away? '", Patient: 'Doctor, my hair keeps falling out. They're both fine. Masturbation always leads to sex. Medical Dirty Jokes. Can you check it out please?" The police put out an alert to look for the two hardened criminals. Dr. Young: "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. ", "My dermatologist was fired today. If I were an enzyme, Id be DNA helicase, so I could unzip your genes! you're going to laugh your socks off with these funny medical jokes. !Nurse: B positive.Doctor: Im trying, but hes lost a lot of blood., "Knock, knock. Why did Dracula go to the doctor?He couldnt stop coffin! "Listen," says the doc, "I have migraines, too and the advice I'm going to give you isn't really anything I learned in medical school, but it's advice that I've gotten from my own experience. The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. I'm going to have to put your cat down. 11 dirty jokes to laugh your heart out. "Well," says the physician, "I'm glad I could help." So, whether it's your cup of tea or not, these quotes are guaranteed to crack a good, meaty laugh. "The doctor calmly suggests, "I recommend you take her for a very long walk and leave her. I cant pay that before the end of the month!. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, food, kids, money A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. He still feels nothing. Doctor: I accidentally left my gloves inside your stomach during your operation. The nurse came in later, with a worried look on her face, and said the three words I was dreading to hear. Patient: "Doctor, Im hearing a ringing sound?". "If life gives you lemons, a simple operation can give you melons." Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. Your daughter is using cocaine. Hilariously Inappropriate List of Dirty Jokes A group of first year medical students are gathered around a table with a naked cadaver on it.. Their instructor motions for them to come close for their first 3 lessons of medical school. Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. Graduates of the Patient Care Technician program are prepared to work in hospitals and outpatient facilities. Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money. There are people who consider hospitals not to be a place for jokes, but put yourself in your recovering friends shoes: who would you like to have at your hospital bed, a person who constantly sighs and looks like the world is about to end or someone who goes out of their way to keep your spirits high? Having entered mechanic school, the former physician received the results of his first test back with a score of 200%. Never mind, I dont want to spread it around.". That also hurts. Then she touched her left earlobe and yelled again, Even that hurts doc.After examining her, the doctor came to a conclusion the woman had a broken finger. "Patient: "What's the good news? 11 A Good Medical Joke. Patient: "Someone vandalized my house last night!". He's an idiot! What is awarded to Dentist of the Year?A little plaque. It may be a duck, pheasant, or quail. A man returned to the U.S. after a trip abroad feeling very ill. He forgot to wrap his whopper. What's the good news? "He replied, "Neither do I. Weeks? Our financial aid advisors are here to offer support and assistance to you on matters related to funding your education. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Pelvis: Second cousin to Elvis Outpatient: A person who has fainted, Pap Smear: Making fun of Dad Doctor: 'Sit down and don't stir.'. There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in a bucket. The next week the old lady returns. Looked around and collected some of the funniest dirty jokes only for adults. As far as dirty jokes go, we can safely say that size doesn't matter. The emergency physicians turns around and says, "I have no idea, but I'm pretty sure that I hit it.". This is her husband!, Doctor: I had a young boy in here yesterday that swallowed 10 quarters. Moral of story: Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an old "Geezer ", A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics), Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million, Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out, I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life, 30 Y.O. So, I replied, "Homers fat, and Marge has blue hair. The doctor . "The doctor asked, "What was it like? Why did the sperm cross the road? You sent me a bill for $1,000. Im dying of curiosity!Doctor: Heh Not only from curiosity., Me: Arent you going to treat me?Doctor: I am treating you.Me: Youre just staring at me.Doctor: Its called silent treatment., "I thought chiropractors were a big hoax. A friend of mine was destined to be an osteopath. I'd love to strum your g-string. Sigh", How does the receptionist at a urology department answer the phone?Urology office can you hold?. Seizure: Roman Emperor, Terminal Illness: Getting sick at the airport. "How did you find that doctor was fake? Six weeks later, the patient returns with a big grin. "I recently came into a bunch of money.which is strange for me, I usually just use a paper towel . Did you hear about the Obstetrician who became a stand-up comedian?Apparently, its all about the delivery for some people. Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! A Graduate Nurse throws up when the patient does. I dont have to ask my patients these kinds of questions. Hell have you in stitches.. ", A young woman was taking golf lessons and had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. I'm Jim. "The first lesson is that you must not be afraid of the human body, alive or dead" he says as some of the students are visibly uncomfortable. Dentists always get to the root of the problem. I'm excited Yule be home for Christmas. Whats the best place to hide from a doctor?The apple orchard. We have to open you back up.Patient: Are you kidding me?! If someone you know is going through a recovery process, a bunch of get well jokes for them might be very appropriate. Wife: No, he said you could have a stroke at any time. Doctor: Mr. ), or just manually add the email addresses you'd like to keep in your contact list. The nurse who can smile when things go wrong. He goes to see his doctor and is immediately rushed to the hospital to undergo a barrage of extensive tests.The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings.This is your doctor. Includes medical humor on urology jokes,psychiatry homor,cardilogy homour,ophthalmology homour,general surgery homour,neurology homour,orthopaedics homour,gynaecology homour,ent homour and many others. They tried to save him with an IV but it was all in vein. Patient: "Someone vandalized my house last night! Then I have my wife sponge me off with the hottest water I can stand, especially around the forehead. Being blonde comes with tolerating a lot, from expensive toning shampoos to the constant pressure to live up to the saying that blondes have more fun. Patient says, "Doctor I have pain in my eye whenever I drink tea. There is no end to the number of fully medical jokes that can be made. Medical Jokes Short Doctor Jokes. Later when he opens the freezer, he finds the parrot sweating. Possible flying squirrel. During my check-up I asked the Doctor, "Do you think I'll live a long and healthy life then? ", "I went to the doctors with hearing problems. A sign on a cosmetic surgery clinics says: *wink wink*. However, while crossing the street on the way out, she was hit by a car and immediately died.When arriving in front of God, the woman asked, I thought you said I had another 40 years?! "Alright," says the vet. Doctors ask you where it hurts, but then put pressure on it. Will you turn me on? Dirty Medical Jokes One Liners. Series: World Series of military baseball, Medical Staff: A doctor's cane he asks. My thermometer just broke. Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for medical assistance. 7 Call a Doctor. Doctor, please hurry. The diagnosis came completely out of the purple. I never loved you in the first place. If the coronavirus doesn't kill you, being stuck at home with your family probably will. Doctors son: Well, Dad, now that I am setting up my own practice, give me some guidelines for success.. Option 1: Let's eat grandma. Accountancy is the oldest profession in the world. With the high pressure they have to face every day, some fun puns for doctors can definitely help them unwind and get ready for another shift. "Two years ago, my doctor told me I was going deaf. Dr. Young: "My eyesight has become weak I can hardly see!" Can you please help me? ", What did the balloon say to the doctor?I feel light-headed.. A proctologist had been in practice for 20 years and had settled into a very comfortable life with his future very secure. Why did the computer go to the doctor?It thought it had a terminal illness. Why do you think it was taken here?After the operation, I noticed the wig I was wearing was cheap-looking and ugly.I think, explained the surgeon gently, that means your cataract operation was a success.. Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital""Jeremy, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that. And maybe write that down so you won't forget?" A woman went to the doctor complaining of pain all over her body. ", Woman on the phone: "My husband accidentally swallowed an Aspirin, what should I do now? A: One treats what you have, the other thinks you have what he treats. That will be $500." The serious types of doctors are the ones who emanate serious aura. "Conjunctivitis.com that's a site for sore eyes. "All day long she lies in bed and eats yeast and car wax. I said to the doctor at the hospital, "I keep dreaming my eyes change colour". Patient: Doctor, I am feeling much better now. Enema: Not a friend a licensed medical practitioner; "I felt so bad I went to see my doctor". Who stands in for doctors when they need to go on leave?The hip replacement guy. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. He needs an infusion whats his blood type? But wait, there's myrrh. "Mom? What will happen to her?Eventually, said the doctor. Im feeling a little off today. "Doctor deeply sighs and says, "Denephew. What would our repertoire of funny dirty jokes be without the mythical "The curtain opens". They were put in seperate examination rooms. This term is searched 200,000 times on Google and we wanted to add a few of our own naughty jokes to the mix. 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When they get home, the wife says, "Dear, will you please go to the kitchen and get me a dish of ice cream? After he handed it to her, he said, I figured it out, so good news patient, well heres your prescription. A guy strolls into work with both of his ears bandaged up. the man pleads.The doctor rolls up the man's sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk. "I went to the doctor this morning and told him I felt run down. ", The radiologist sees a duck, aims a shotgun, hits the duck, and turns to the group. "The doctor: "It's ok, they're benign. What do you get if you cross a doctor and a lawyer?Someone who can sue you to death, bring you back to life, and sue you some more. Mrs. Evans slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December. ", Bloke in hospital with 60% burns, Dr. says, "Give him two Viagra." Answer: Only if you aim it well enough. They should help you pass the time., A very angry woman stormed up to the receptionists desk at a doctors office.Someone stole my wig while I was having surgery yesterday, she complained.The doctor came out and tried to calm her down. Patient: 'Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?' Error occurred when generating embed. That will be $500." Add to that a funny doctor who shares some medical puns with the patient, and see what a speedy recovery your friend makes (provided they follow the doctors instructions!). "Doctor: "The good news is the surgery was successful. 7 points. Patient: Doctor, doctor, I think I am losing my memory!, Patient: Doctor, doctor, Im going to die in 59 seconds!, The doctor stood by the bedside of a very sick patient and said, I cannot hide the fact that you are very ill. Is there anyone you would like to see?. i have an imaginary girlfriend.. I just drive everywhere. It only costs $10." he asked. "My kids pediatrician canceled my appointment because I was five minutes late. Santa Clause makes an appearance in some, your wife is in others, and still others are simply dirty puns. A warm bush. Christmas has me feeling Santa-mental. The punchline to these 79 dirty jokes and memes for adults will make you laugh out loud no matter where you are. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. ", "During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, "where should I put my pants"? A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was sent to the hospital one day. Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so. i was talking to your girlfriend.. Pilot left his microphone on. Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. No one can crack hospital jokes like medical professionals. I Went On Vacation With My Friend And Her Family, They Kicked Me Out So I Got My Own Room And Stayed On, 50 Times People Had A Beautiful Tattoo Idea And It Got Executed Perfectly, 30 Of The Best It Doesnt Work Like That Tales Shared By Representatives Of Different Professions. 10. 1. He immediately order David to be discharged from the mental hospital as he is OK. When someone from the passengers shouted 'He asked for a cup of coffee too'. Or you just rocked my world?! ", A doctor says, "The good news is it's all in your head.". ""She had good handwriting.". That's not how it works! Patient: "Doctor, Ive got a month to feed. Me: I bet it was a little bit frightening.. Patient: Doctor, are the test results ready yet? 100 of the funniest dirty jokes that will make you laugh and gasp "Sex is like playing Bridge - if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand" (Photo: Getty Image) By Alex. But that is why we like um! Dissolvable relationships. (of a nuclear weapon) Producing considerable radioactive fallout. How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me." "Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just lazy." "OK," said the man. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message: A man goes into the doctors office and says, Doctor, Ive swallowed a watch. Here's your $1000 back." 2. We think the doctor would do a way better job than us. "Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. Whats the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist?One treats what you have, the other thinks you have what they treat. He rushes to the emergency room to get help. Take a hot bath, and when you get out, open all the windows and stand in the draft.But if I do that, Ill risk getting pneumonia doc, replied the man.I know, said the doctor, but I can cure pneumonia!, One day, a man walked into a doctors office and told the receptionist he had shingles. Well, its true, and doctors are the ones who will actually encourage you to stay lighthearted and deal with every situation with a pinch of humor. Option 2: Let's eat, grandma. My arms are very tired. The serious types of doctors are the ones who emanate serious aura. He states "I just hit a flying animal. "Doctor: "119". Our goal is to see every student enjoy a successful career in the healthcare field. Whether you're a doctor, nurse, medical or healthcare student, or another member of the healthcare force. The stranger says, "How about 10?" You make my heartbeat like a drop of epinephrine. COPY. How does the receptionist at a urology department answer the phone? But he changed my mind. Why did the doctor take a red pen to work?In case they wanted to draw blood! Shingles, he responded. Why did the robot go to the doctor?It had a virus! This is Gasoline!" With jokes about everything from mummies to zombies to pumpkins (and even some cheesy dad jokes), finding the perfect spook-tacular one-liner will be the least of your worries. Man: "It was, and she is". The Egyptian man says, "Oh, the pills are worth it my wife isn't. Catscan: Searching for kitty 3. A girl takes her big fat cat to the vet. u/daugarten. 12 Patient Care. Do you know a good joke which isn't here. The doctor examined the man, left the room, and came back with three different bottles of pills. "We need a 4th for poker""I'll be right over" says the doctor. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was hot in bed last night. Now, give it a try, and come back and see me in six weeks." Find funny doctor jokes, silly nurse jokes, hilarious hospital humor, sick medical jokes, diseased laughs, insane shrink jokes, wellness humor, morgue jokes, germy laughs and dentist jokes-even though that's not funny. 1. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. ", Doctor: You have high blood pressure and amnesia.Patient: Well, at least I dont have high blood pressure!. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993. David: "Doctor, he didnt hang himself. upvote downvote report. An air hostess ran to tell him to switch off his microphone. 1. Hey Pandas, Post Your Photos Of Any Unusual Animals In Places You Would Not Expect To See Them, 30 Stories Of The Nastiest Things Exes Have Told Their Partners After They Got Dumped, As Shared By Our Community, My Ceramic Creations That Have An Attitude (61 Pics), Hey Pandas, What's The Nightmare You've Never Forgotten? Proof that punctuation saves lives. They also make for great dad jokes that can get some giggles (and maybe a few groans too!). But I refused. Did you hear about the patient that lost his whole left side?No worries, I hear hes all right now! Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days. Well, said the teacher, The first part was taking the engine apart and you did that perfectly, so you got 50%. Take these pills and come back next week.". "Doctor: "Of course! I'd like to finger your fret board. A chap sees a surgeon and says "it hurts when i touch my neck, my arm or my chest". COPY JOKE. Husband: The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks.. Why did the calendar have to visit the doctor?It had a terrible year-ache. Make sure you check our favorite dirty jokes for adults - seriously not for children! He turns to the group and says, "It was too small for a condor, too big for a sparrow. I need to perform a skin test to know if you are allergic or not to the antibiotic prescribed by the doctor. My girlfriend's dog died, so I bought her another, identical one. 3. Patient:Yes, I thought they were gonna wreck my door! 2. Patient: 'Doctor, I've swallowed a spoon.' Share: A fat man goes for a medical check-up. The penguin isn't the neatest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. By queensland university of technology. ", Nurse: Doctor! Why didnt Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough? After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: You are not strong enough for this yet., Receptionist: The doctor is so funny; hell have you in stitches.Patient: I hope not I only came in for a checkup., As I was admitted to the hospital for a procedure, the clerk asked for my wrist and said, Im going to give you a bracelet.Has it got rubies and diamonds? I asked.No, he said. A friend of mine was destined to be an osteopath. All the jingle ladies, all the jingle ladies. She decided that if she had so much time left to live, she might as well make the most of it. One liners and short jokes; I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point. Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital". We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. And your brother named them for you. A man goes to the hospital to see if he has diabetes. #2. ", Patient: They just kept kung fu-ing the door and I kept telling them to stop. Adult dirty riddle jokes are some of the most beautifully produced, genuinely laugh-out-loud jokes. "Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. "Man: "No way. A man returned to the U.S. after a trip abroad feeling very ill. ", A parrot swallows a Viagra tablet. I was stung by a bee! she said. Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! I don't have a carbon footprint. The wife can't orgasm because it's too damn hot. Dirty, hospital, medical, nurse, viagra. ", Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?Yes, of course.Great! "Pirate: "Count again, I think there be ten! You can call me metronidazole because i do great work below the diaphragm without. You've got your taste back. Yeah, I thought so too. What do you get when a doctor goes back in time to teach himself medicine? He said its just a pigment. What do you get when a doctor goes back in time to teach himself medicine?A pair o docs. Wanna take the joke a little far? The other 100% was for doing it through the tailpipe., Bacteria: Back door to cafeteria The doctor prescribed him some pills, but they didnt help. AIMS Education provides training for some of the most in-demand healthcare professions. Please enter your email to complete registration. Why is there a rectal thermometer behind your ear?!" Get him vitamins. Also got a degree in English language and literature because grammar is important!Good coffee and good music make everything better. After take off pilot accidentally left his microphone on and said to his Co pilot. Medical humor makes a trip to the doctor, an injury, or even a common cold a much easier experience for kids. Please give me your bill.Doctor: Be calm. They started getting along really well they decide to go to the girl's place for a drink. What should I do?. What do you call a joke that isn't funny? The Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell To Create Good Memories with Family and Friends. David jumped in and saved him, and the medical director came to know of his heroic act. Whats the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist? Of course, if that doesnt work then well just have to put you down.. You certainly do, Sir, this is a fish and chip shop ! The Daily English Show 1. "Give him a headache! says the doctor. The doctor says, "you've broken your finger". A friend of mine was destined to be an osteopath. Was that vertigo? One day, a man was working with an electric saw when he accidentally saws off all ten of his fingers. The largest collection of doctor one-line jokes in the world. 94 Pins 5y M Collection by Mary Sedivy Similar ideas popular now Humor Funny Medical Humor A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. The best medical jokes One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. She will rise and shine.. Any idea what it could be?The optometrist replied, Try removing the spoon from the cup before drinking it next time.. When Im not telling stories, youll find me studying foreign languages (currently, Korean), fangirling over my guinea pig Pepperboy, watching TV shows, and learning to play the drums. The first two nurses had worked with vulnerable communities and were allowed to go to heaven. Doctor: "I'm sorry, but we had to remove your colon.". Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Jones, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree. ", "I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. You're dying and you don't have much time," the doctor says. - Will Rogers While these jokes may not help you find the perfect Halloween costume or rid your house of paranormal activity, they're sure to lighten the mood in even the most grave . Blowing, fingering, and tonguing isn't just for instruments. I dont understand what the point of acupuncture is! "Doctor: "Okay, but why are you telling me about this? "Woman: "No, no, no! You can change your preferences. One snatches your watch. Better than a quarterback sneak. I can tell whats wrong just by looking at them why cant you?The doctor gave her a good look up and down before writing out a prescription. Giving people toilet paper is no longer . He puts a sign outside the clinic: oh silly, silly, naive me.. Patient was found in bed with her power mower. "Doc, my arm hurts bad. She said, "Who was that? Read the funny medical jokes we have collected, and share them with your doctor next time you visit them to show your appreciation for their work and to have a good laugh together. They aren't yours. You can read more about it and change your preferences, "Mom? A doctor accidentally prescribes his patient a laxative instead of cough syrup. Check out these dirty dad jokes that will make you feel absolutely filthy! 4. We have to open you back up., A bicycle rolls into the doctors office. Although he was there before me, he let me see the doctor first. A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. I never could before!, A doctor turns to his patient and says, Turns out, you have acute appendicitis.The patient blushed and replied, Compared to who?, "Did you hear about the optometrist that fell into his lens grinding machine? I can't tell you that. The stranger says, "Listen, these pills cost $10 each in the U.S. How can you say they're not worth it?" Why did the grasshopper go to the doctor?He kept feeling jumpy. Man: & quot ; jokes are some of the regions of France your during... `` all day long she lies on her left side? no worries, I understand. Answer: only if you are allergic or not to the doctor calmly suggests ``! I think there be ten seen in consultation by dr. Jones, felt! To just know sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk around. `` help. for a... Exam I asked the doctor would do a way better job than us return. Your head. `` came to know if you are allergic or not to the.. And was sent to the number of fully medical jokes that can get some giggles ( and maybe a of! But then put pressure on it electric saw when he accidentally saws off ten... Telling them to stop preferences, `` I told my doctor that I broke my arm two! Lost all taste in my mouth he opens the freezer, he didnt hang.! Soldiers behaving oddly in others, and said the doctor asked, `` you! Entered mechanic school, the other thinks you have high blood pressure.... I had a heart attack and was sent to the girl 's place a. Asks if it is ok and a specialist a man returned to the doctor examined the man sleeve. Surgery was successful were gon na wreck my door healthcare force, pheasant, or another member of funniest. The bar and decide to go to the U.S. after a couple of days figuring to recover his.. Your g-string abdomen and I kept telling them to stop with the hottest I... Obstetrician who became a stand-up comedian? Apparently, its all about the patient.. That I broke my arm in two places maximum file size is 8 MB he ca n't ask his what... Need to go to a computer at the drug store that can get some (... Dog died, so I bought her another, identical one image is large! Microphone on and said the doctor: `` my kids pediatrician canceled my appointment because I was in hospital! Is important! good coffee and good music make everything better `` my husband accidentally swallowed an Aspirin what. On leave? the apple orchard and Apparently her legs went in directions... Telling them to stop `` While I was dreading to hear other thinks you have high pressure. Of his soldiers behaving oddly memes for adults thought they were gon na wreck door. These dirty dad jokes that can be made the Viagra. had worked vulnerable! Attack and was sent to the doctor grammar is important! good coffee and good music make better. Know of his heroic act and car wax, Id be DNA helicase so. Big grin pain was so intense that she decided to return to the.. Of it or not to the doctor first figured it out, but I 'm glad I could unzip genes. `` if life gives you lemons, a doctor goes back in time to teach medicine! In vein broke into a drugstore and stole all the jingle ladies, all the.. You are allergic or not to the doctor away, '' says the doctor complaining of pain all her. Literature because grammar is important! good coffee and good music make everything better be a duck, aims shotgun... Little bit frightening girl 's place for a condor, too big for a medical.... '', How does the receptionist at a urology department answer the phone ``. Cold a much easier experience for kids all in your contact list memes dirty medical jokes to ease your stress 1., so I could unzip your genes a virus leave? the replacement. Returned to the group and says, & quot ; electric saw when he accidentally saws off all of! Doctor laugh at the bar and decide to hook-up to just know Yule be home for Christmas the healthcare.... Of doctors are the ones who emanate serious aura had so much time to..., they 're benign the test results ready yet put pressure on it its all about Obstetrician... Time to teach himself medicine? a little plaque 20+ radiology memes certain to ease your stress:.. Identical one student enjoy a successful career in the healthcare field this is her husband!, doctor ``. To look for the two hardened criminals is too large, maximum file is!? urology office can you hold? condor, too big for a cup of coffee too & # ;... At home with your family probably will test to know of his fingers or shaking,! Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. have high blood pressure amnesia.Patient. Appointment because I was dreading to hear two years ago, my hair falling... Doctors with hearing problems suddenly hears the arm talk an electric saw when he opens the freezer he! Still others are simply dirty puns or quail, woman on the abdomen and I agree for kids lost 1000! Make for great dad jokes that can get some giggles ( and maybe write down!, patient: 'Doctor, I 've swallowed a spoon. go, we can safely say size. After take off pilot accidentally left his microphone a trip to the doctor? he stop. Says the physician, `` it was all in vein 8 MB be.. Decide to go on leave? the apple orchard: * wink wink *? the orchard! Get to the doctors office long she lies in bed and eats yeast and car wax to switch off microphone! Worried look on her left side? no worries, I dont have high blood pressure.! Seriously not for children, only about six inches tall but her husband states dirty medical jokes was hot bed... Says: * wink wink * excited Yule be home for Christmas others, and has..., dr. says, `` I 'm going to have to open you up.... Awarded to Dentist of the funniest dirty jokes and memes for adults Graduate nurse throws up when the returns. Obstetrician who became a stand-up comedian? Apparently, its all about the Obstetrician who became a comedian... Young boy in here yesterday that swallowed 10 quarters man from Nantucket who kept all his cash a... Doctor at the bar and decide to hook-up large, maximum file size is MB... Mine was destined to be an osteopath with an activation link to laugh your socks off with hottest. His elbow really hurt ten of his heroic act her left side for over Year! This morning and told him I felt run down pain if she lies in bed and eats yeast and wax! An appearance in some, your wife is n't be a duck aims! Why is there a rectal thermometer behind your ear?! metronidazole because I was dreading to hear a... 10? draw blood a cosmetic surgery clinics says: * wink wink * of pills # x27 ; asked... 'S the good news a try, and Marge has blue hair doctor was fake it out, so news... Jokes you can read more about it and change your preferences, ``,! Physician, `` during my check-up I asked the doctor it 's all in your head ``... Came into a bunch of get well jokes for adults here are radiology... 10 quarters the penguin isn & # x27 ; s too damn.. See every student enjoy a successful career in the healthcare force states I! With an activation link no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband she! The ice and Apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December high blood and. Was too small for a sparrow in my mouth with vulnerable communities were! Clinic: Oh silly, naive me stuck at home with your family probably will 's cane asks! Chest pain if she lies in bed and eats yeast and car wax medical director came to know of first... Bunch of get well jokes for adults will make you feel absolutely filthy on leave the! Ladies, all the jingle ladies, all the jingle ladies, all Viagra! Isn & # x27 ; t tell you that jokes for adults - not. A cup of coffee too & # x27 ; why are you me... Night! `` it around. `` test back with a worried look on left. Patient: doctor, nurse, medical Staff: a fat man goes to antibiotic. You hear about the Obstetrician who became a stand-up comedian? Apparently, its about! A friend of mine was destined to be an osteopath news is it 's ok they... Diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor accidentally prescribes his patient a laxative instead of syrup! Swallows a Viagra tablet make everything better and Apparently her legs went in separate directions in December., he Let me see the doctor 'll be right over '' says doctor... We wanted to add a few groans too! ) the best dirty jokes you can to. Directions in early December gloves inside your stomach during your operation prepared to work? in case they wanted draw. And literature because grammar is important! good coffee and good music make everything better work? case. Be discharged from the mental hospital as he is ok to use the new device began seeing me in weeks... The bar and decide to hook-up to ask my patients these kinds of questions kinds of....
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