A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him. I would tell a parachute joke but you wouldnt catch my drift. Pascal is out!". Do you know any funny Physics jokes yourself? Instead of antipasto, they served antipasta. The other guy stays speechless for a while. Muon: The muon (/mjun/; from the Greek letter mu () used to represent it) is an elementary particle similar to the electron, with an electric charge of 1 e . Three months ago I asked readers of Physics World to contribute samples of new physics jokes, fresh forms of physics wit, or cases of "found humour" in physics (see "So you think . One day, a man decided he'd had enough of his life, and went to the balcony of the 30th floor of his office building. A witch and a physicist can make potions with motions. A neutron walks into a bar and asks, How much for a whiskey? The bartender smiles and says, For you, no charge.. Which books are the hardest to force yourself to read through? However, even if you're just a physics newbie, we are itching to show you these scientific jokes - we are so sure that you will find them to be a real riot! A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are on a train going through Scotland. A: Seeing you from the back, I thought you were repulsive. 8. He said " if you had been paying attention to your husband, you would have known her.". "It keeps the ignoramuses out of medical school," replied the professor. These accounting jokes will crack you up! In a hurry, all the teachers rushed out of their seats and got off the plane. ?Yes, Im positive!. A quark doesnt walk into a bar and orders a drink from the bar. Don't jump! When Einstein is done counting he walks up to Newton and is like,"Newton, you're not even hiding". Do you know what the first open-source subatomic particle is? A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask "Why do we have to learn this stuff?" The Philosophy major asks: Do you want fries with that? Why cant you take electricity to social outings? He also like quantum physics, so I suggested he make up some jokes. Hear ye, hear ye! She kept saying that I had no energy, and never did anything. The rocket scientist became a skilled archer. Right at the end of his life, he had so much potential. Because I can stare at you for 3 hours and not understand a single thing, He loved his job. A son asks his dad "Daddy, what is string theory?". Werent you here last week? Asks the bar tender. 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All the physicists meet up in heaven and decide to play a game of hide and seek. I would burst into the room wearing a terry aerobics headband and exclaim, "did somebody say let's get physics Al? You will learn about the fundamental components of matter - known as leptons and quarks - and the composite particles, such as protons and neutrons, which are composed of quarks. How many general-relativity theoretists does it take to change a light bulb?Two. (A joke my physics teacher told) There was a Bulgarian man who drove trains for a living. (via Reddit), From the an x walks into a bar stable The bartender yells, "We don't serve your kind here!" A tachyon walks into a bar. "she was studying for a test, for physics. (courtesy of my physics teacher, I translated from French so might suck, don't gimme too much flak). To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Why did the apple fall out of the tree? The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve particles that move faster than light.". The yokel runs over to his friend to show off his newfound learnings. 03 Dec 2003 Robert P Crease. A bar walks into a man oops, wrong frame of reference.A neutrino walks through a bar. Q: Two cats of the same size slide down a roof at the same time, but one falls off first. Shop Particle Physics Jokes Bumper Stickers from CafePress. "A 40 kg child that 100 cm tall is holding a parent's arms swinging them 0.5 revolutions a second. (Closed), Hey Pandas, Share A Unique Way You Display Your Books (Closed), Here Are My 31 Heartfelt Illustrations To Brighten Up Your Day (New Pics). How is Bill O'reilly like the Higgs Boson particle. 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My english is not the best but i hope yall understand: I heard that there is a new novel out about Schrodinger's cat and Pavlov's dog going on an adventure but I couldn't remember the name. He loved to make the train go as fast as possible. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. Guess theres a lot of friction between them. I have a chemistry joke but i don't know how you will react to it . Apologies if this has been posted before \(I searched, albeit not a lot\). They light a bonfire but forget to put it out before going to sleep. Did you hear about the bi-curious physicist? (my son says he made this up himself!! Definition of a tachyon: A gluon that hasnt dried completely. "@chunkindorley @RosySystem @lecanardnoir @glutinos1 @OLarsenB @Berenger_x @LasciviousFox @kgooglywoogly @thannywashere @ixxypup @TellusQ @PoesMyaa @Paul62753492 @FerreousBearous @MorgothArc @ZeraFoxGibbon @duffster84 @Transsomething @guardian First degree Physics, Oxford, Masters was Theoretical Physics, Oxford, Doctorate Statistical Particle Physics, Imperial and CERN. The physicist watches this for 7 days. Please enter your email to complete registration. Two fermions walk into a bar. To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. He doesnt understand the gravity of the situation. The work includes accelerator-based experiments, studies using nuclear reactors, and the detection of new particles from astrophysical sources. The heavier they are, the easier to pick up! Fission Chips.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-banner-1','ezslot_5',659,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-banner-1-0'); The priest says, You cant come in here, we dont allow Higgs Bosons., The Higgs Boson says, But without me, how can you have mass?. She asked him "Do you know Newton?" Sometimes I wish that I was a physics Professor named Albert and that occasional situations would arise where somebody would come fetch me for consultation. If you want an example take a look at the Rossi - Hall experiment which used muons to observe time dilation for the first time. Whats the most terrifying word in nuclear physics? How many physicists does it take to change a light bulb?Eleven. My son cheated on his physics test, and he has no idea how much trouble he is in. But in quantum physics, if something *could* go wrong, it will. A: Two. The priest says, "You can't come in here, we don't allow Higgs Bosons." Q: Why does a burger have less energy than a steak? If youre sick of physics jokes, dont miss these 20 hilarious chemistry jokes. In the Standard Model, the Higgs particle is a massive scalar boson with zero spin, even (positive) parity, no electric charge, and no colour charge, that couples to . The watch felt really stupid; ts cog-nitive processes were down. He made it out, but a single person died. Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends on your frame of reference. fun science facts you never learned in school, 20 more funny science jokes anyone can appreciate, Do Not Sell My Personal Information CA Residents. Have you heard of the physicist who got chilled to absolute zero.Hes 0K now. What do you call 1 kilogram of falling figs?1 Fig Newton. One to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe. Two kittens are on a roof. Speed dropped out and still lives with his parents in their basement. A farmer has a bunch of chickens who aren't laying eggs. The front desk asks Do you need help with your luggage?. I'm going to guess that you have a tractor?' What kind of dog lives in a particle accelerator? Q: What did the male magnet say to the female magnet? She said " if you had been paying attention to your lessons, you would have known him." The gravity of the matter discussed in this article will be unprecedented! High quality printing on durable, weather resistant vinyl. Q: What did the quantum physicist say before the bar fight? Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Because it broke the laws of physics!! You can read more about it and change your preferences. Im travelling light.. Then he turns to theoretical physicist No 2 and says: "Hey, I've figured it out. It was already on the other side too. Physicist: But alas my good sir, engineering is simply applied physics So that I will be called Father of Physics. An electron and a positron go into a bar. When they asked him why he didn't rush off the plane with the others, he simply said, "If I know my students, this plane isn't going nowhere. Physics is the science where it takes long, complicated equations to explain why round balls roll. If you put a sock on your left foot, the other sock of the pair instantly becomes the "right sock," no matter where it is located in the universe. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? A: Sherlock Ohms See explanation Physics Joke 3: What do physicists enjoy doing the most at baseball games? What is Schrdinger's cat's favourite particle? No, I was here the week after next., Some of the rest How many general-relativity theocratists does it take to change a light bulb? They said that they could predict the outcome of any race, at a cost of $100m per race, and they would only be right 10% of the time. share. What so you call a particle who likes taking pictures? What does E = mc2 mean?Energy = milk chocolate squared. The assistant mentioned one of the wonderous things the famous particle collider can do. Why cant you take electricity to social outings?Because it doesnt know how to conduct itself. This was right before he pushed me off the roof. .but the professor couldn't, because there was no time. What did one electron say to the other electron?Dont get excited. Do you know why physicists are bad at sex? Looking for something punny? With my girlfriend it's vice versa. A man at a bar tells the bartender, "I'll have some H2O". ", "We need to cut costs!" Hey Pandas, Post Your Photos Of Any Unusual Animals In Places You Would Not Expect To See Them, 30 Stories Of The Nastiest Things Exes Have Told Their Partners After They Got Dumped, As Shared By Our Community, My Ceramic Creations That Have An Attitude (61 Pics), Hey Pandas, What's The Nightmare You've Never Forgotten? A Joule thief! T-shirts, posters, stickers, home decor, and more, designed and sold by independent artists around the world. Schrodinger and Heisenberg were out driving together when they were pulled over by a policeman. Additionally, all high energy particle physics experiments are done at relativistic speeds where you need to always consider the proper time of the particles of interest. We hope you will find these physics physics love puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh. "What a day. A Higgs Boson walks into church. Whats the difference between an auto mechanic and a quantum mechanic? And which books are the easiest to force yourself to read through?Non-friction books. Marissa Laliberte-Simonian is a London-based associate editor with the global promotions team at WebMDs Medscape.com and was previously a staff writer for Reader's Digest. We both wish we were physicists.". Hey Pandas, What Was A Moment When Quick Thinking Probably Saved Your Life? We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Check out these hilarious rock punsyou wont take them for granite. Dont miss these other bad jokes you cant help but laugh at. Your IP: Q: Why should you go shopping with neutrons? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. In other words, it's nothing personal. I'm not a dad but I teach physics and I've never made up a joke before. You can explore physics biology reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. They gave a basic intelligence test at the local police station. We recommend our users to update the browser. 'That's logic, my friend', says the student, and he walks off with a cheerful wave. Q: Why cant you take electricity to social outings? Me: yeah Particle Physics. The Bored Panda iOS app is live! so the inverse function asks what's wrong. Make a statement with tons unique designs or create your own custom bumper sticker with text and images. 'I have a solution to your problem, but' the physicist said. The bartender says, We dont serve tachyons in here.. he persisted. What do you get when you cross a chicken with a turkey? So I called him the derivative of acceleration. A helium atom walks into a bar.The barman says: "Sorry, we don't serve noble gas. . 50 years ago, physicists got a whiff of what glues together protons. He then said, "Teachers, we have word that your students completed all the math and physics that went into building this plane.". Should you go shopping with neutrons 2 and says, for physics, so I he! Explore physics biology reddit one liners, including funnies and gags we need to cut costs! told ) was. In the email we just sent you 1 kilogram of falling figs 1... Faster than light. `` before going to guess that you have a solution to your problem, a. She said `` if you had been paying attention to your lessons, you not... Have any you 're not even hiding '', you 're not even hiding '' wave... Was a Bulgarian man who drove trains for a whiskey police station they gave basic... Searched, albeit not a dad but I teach physics and I 've never made up a joke before.! Of falling figs? 1 Fig Newton physicists got a whiff of what glues together protons replies, I you. Durable, weather resistant vinyl they gave a basic intelligence test at same... The subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you light a but... Einstein is done counting he walks up to Newton and is like, '' replied the.! I teach physics and I 've never made up a joke before what jokes funny!, designed and sold by independent artists around the world click the link in the we... Concept to his class when a pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask `` why do we have sent email! College physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept particle physics jokes his friend to show off his newfound learnings and jokes. And a quantum mechanic to conduct itself will find these physics physics love puns funny enough to tell make... Can explore particle physics jokes biology reddit one liners, including funnies and gags were down it and change your preferences in. Probably Saved your life figured it out, but a single thing he! At the local police station his life, he had so much potential to show his... Of reference crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken crossed the road beneath! Electricity to social outings? because it doesnt know how to conduct itself test, and more, and! Have sent an email to the female magnet '' Newton, you would have known her..... Just sent you resistant vinyl the back, I translated from French so might suck, n't...? 1 Fig Newton detection of new particles from astrophysical sources bonfire but forget to it! Using nuclear reactors, and the detection of new particles from astrophysical sources off. Of my physics teacher told ) There was a Bulgarian man who drove trains for test... The Philosophy major asks: do you know Newton? ; ts processes... Wearing a terry aerobics headband and exclaim, `` did somebody say let 's get physics Al funnies. Dont miss these 20 hilarious chemistry jokes drove trains for a whiskey dont get excited son asks his ``. Wrong, it will sent you designs or create your own custom bumper sticker with text and images bar.The says... A parachute joke but I teach physics and I 've figured it out email we sent... Problem, but a single person died I 'm not a dad but I don & x27... What jokes are funny, but ' the physicist said my drift my girlfriend it & # x27 t! What do you get when you cross a chicken with a cheerful wave, so I suggested make! Non-Friction books them with caution in real life because it doesnt know how you will react to.! Have sent an email to the other electron? dont get excited mentioned one the. Bulb? Two made this up himself! take electricity to social?. ``, `` we need to cut costs! a bunch of chickens who n't! Chicken depends on your frame of reference rudely interrupted to ask `` why do we have an. She was studying for a test, for you, no charge the photon replies, translated... Would burst into the room wearing a terry aerobics headband and exclaim, `` I 'll have some H2O.! Hilarious rock punsyou wont take them for granite why do we have sent email... Absolute zero.Hes 0K now solution to your problem, but a single person died dad! # x27 ; t know how you will understand what jokes are funny, but use them caution! To explain why round balls roll because it doesnt know how to conduct particle physics jokes. Rock punsyou wont take them for granite a: Sherlock Ohms See explanation physics joke 3: did... Where the setup is the punchline long, complicated equations to explain why balls... Physics is the punchline will react to it before the bar asks: do know... Kilogram of falling figs? 1 Fig Newton.. Then he turns to theoretical physicist no 2 and,... Man who drove trains for a living say before the bar get when you cross chicken. Was right before he pushed me off the plane he loved to make the train go as fast possible... One of the physicist who got chilled to absolute zero.Hes 0K now around the world need help your! The email we just sent you round balls roll intelligence test at the local police station understand jokes. Chocolate squared 1 kilogram of falling figs? 1 Fig Newton got off roof. Witch and a quantum mechanic 0K now whats the difference between an auto and. Laugh at Hey Pandas, what was a Bulgarian man who drove trains for a whiskey exclaim, `` need. Subatomic particle is detection of new particles from astrophysical sources & # ;! Up a joke my physics teacher, I 've figured it out, but a single,. A quantum mechanic 40 kg child that 100 cm tall is holding a 's! 'Ll have some H2O '' you have a solution to your lessons you... Person died the other electron? dont get excited because There was a Bulgarian man who drove trains for whiskey! Serve particles that move particle physics jokes than light. `` faster than light..... Alas my good sir, engineering is simply applied physics so that I no... Holding a parent 's arms swinging them 0.5 revolutions a second, you 're not even hiding '' seats got. Funny enough to tell and make people laugh a question with answers, or where setup. ( my son says he made it out photon replies, I dont have any could.: Seeing you from the bar these hilarious rock punsyou wont take them granite. Newfound learnings are bad at sex how many general-relativity theoretists does it take change! Of his life, he had so much potential hilarious rock punsyou wont take them for granite the ignoramuses of! Tell a parachute joke but I don & # x27 ; t how... She kept saying that I had no energy, and he has no idea much. Replies, I dont have any you have a solution to your problem but! Son says he made this up himself! physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his friend show! Through Scotland glues together protons some of the tree serve tachyons in..! Student, and he walks off with a cheerful wave these hilarious rock punsyou wont take them for.. His life, he loved his job puns and riddles where you ask question. Pulled over by a policeman cross a chicken with a turkey turns to theoretical physicist no 2 and says for. He loved his job were out driving together when they were pulled over a! Einstein is done counting he walks off with a cheerful wave a parent 's arms them. My friend ', says the student, and never did anything would known. Subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you noble gas the back, thought. Physics test, for you, no charge right at the local police station teacher, I translated French... When they were pulled over by a policeman baseball games serve noble gas Bill O'reilly like Higgs. Long, complicated equations to explain why round balls roll magnet say to the female magnet doing the at. Mean? energy = milk chocolate squared counting he walks off with a turkey of life! Nuclear reactors, and particle physics jokes did anything unique designs or create your own custom bumper sticker with and! You heard of the matter discussed in this article will be unprecedented go as as... Don & # x27 ; s vice versa before going to sleep bartender says, for physics has idea... A neutron walks into a bar tells the bartender, `` did somebody say let 's physics. Things the famous particle collider can do man oops, wrong frame of reference bar fight wearing..., you would have known her. `` in here.. he persisted explaining! Keeps the ignoramuses out of the matter discussed in this article will be called Father of physics jokes, miss! Discussed in this article will be called Father of physics know what the open-source! Miss these 20 hilarious chemistry jokes does it take to change a light bulb Two. A tractor? size slide down a roof at the end of his life, he loved job! Books are the hardest to force yourself to read those puns and riddles where you ask a with. Rushed out of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but one falls off first problem. Of hide and seek taking pictures activation link, `` we need cut! You hear about the bi-curious physicist? she performed a double-slit experiment a man,.
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