A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him. I would tell a parachute joke but you wouldnt catch my drift. Pascal is out!". Do you know any funny Physics jokes yourself? Instead of antipasto, they served antipasta. The other guy stays speechless for a while. Muon: The muon (/mjun/; from the Greek letter mu () used to represent it) is an elementary particle similar to the electron, with an electric charge of 1 e . Three months ago I asked readers of Physics World to contribute samples of new physics jokes, fresh forms of physics wit, or cases of "found humour" in physics (see "So you think . One day, a man decided he'd had enough of his life, and went to the balcony of the 30th floor of his office building. A witch and a physicist can make potions with motions. A neutron walks into a bar and asks, How much for a whiskey? The bartender smiles and says, For you, no charge.. Which books are the hardest to force yourself to read through? However, even if you're just a physics newbie, we are itching to show you these scientific jokes - we are so sure that you will find them to be a real riot! A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are on a train going through Scotland. A: Seeing you from the back, I thought you were repulsive. 8. He said " if you had been paying attention to your husband, you would have known her.". "It keeps the ignoramuses out of medical school," replied the professor. These accounting jokes will crack you up! In a hurry, all the teachers rushed out of their seats and got off the plane. ?Yes, Im positive!. A quark doesnt walk into a bar and orders a drink from the bar. Don't jump! When Einstein is done counting he walks up to Newton and is like,"Newton, you're not even hiding". Do you know what the first open-source subatomic particle is? A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask "Why do we have to learn this stuff?" The Philosophy major asks: Do you want fries with that? Why cant you take electricity to social outings? He also like quantum physics, so I suggested he make up some jokes. Hear ye, hear ye! She kept saying that I had no energy, and never did anything. The rocket scientist became a skilled archer. Right at the end of his life, he had so much potential. Because I can stare at you for 3 hours and not understand a single thing, He loved his job. A son asks his dad "Daddy, what is string theory?". Werent you here last week? Asks the bar tender. 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All the physicists meet up in heaven and decide to play a game of hide and seek. I would burst into the room wearing a terry aerobics headband and exclaim, "did somebody say let's get physics Al? You will learn about the fundamental components of matter - known as leptons and quarks - and the composite particles, such as protons and neutrons, which are composed of quarks. How many general-relativity theoretists does it take to change a light bulb?Two. (A joke my physics teacher told) There was a Bulgarian man who drove trains for a living. (via Reddit), From the an x walks into a bar stable The bartender yells, "We don't serve your kind here!" A tachyon walks into a bar. "she was studying for a test, for physics. (courtesy of my physics teacher, I translated from French so might suck, don't gimme too much flak). To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Why did the apple fall out of the tree? The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve particles that move faster than light.". The yokel runs over to his friend to show off his newfound learnings. 03 Dec 2003 Robert P Crease. A bar walks into a man oops, wrong frame of reference.A neutrino walks through a bar. Q: Two cats of the same size slide down a roof at the same time, but one falls off first. Shop Particle Physics Jokes Bumper Stickers from CafePress. "A 40 kg child that 100 cm tall is holding a parent's arms swinging them 0.5 revolutions a second. (Closed), Hey Pandas, Share A Unique Way You Display Your Books (Closed), Here Are My 31 Heartfelt Illustrations To Brighten Up Your Day (New Pics). How is Bill O'reilly like the Higgs Boson particle. 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My english is not the best but i hope yall understand: I heard that there is a new novel out about Schrodinger's cat and Pavlov's dog going on an adventure but I couldn't remember the name. He loved to make the train go as fast as possible. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. Guess theres a lot of friction between them. I have a chemistry joke but i don't know how you will react to it . Apologies if this has been posted before \(I searched, albeit not a lot\). They light a bonfire but forget to put it out before going to sleep. Did you hear about the bi-curious physicist? (my son says he made this up himself!! Definition of a tachyon: A gluon that hasnt dried completely. "@chunkindorley @RosySystem @lecanardnoir @glutinos1 @OLarsenB @Berenger_x @LasciviousFox @kgooglywoogly @thannywashere @ixxypup @TellusQ @PoesMyaa @Paul62753492 @FerreousBearous @MorgothArc @ZeraFoxGibbon @duffster84 @Transsomething @guardian First degree Physics, Oxford, Masters was Theoretical Physics, Oxford, Doctorate Statistical Particle Physics, Imperial and CERN. The physicist watches this for 7 days. Please enter your email to complete registration. Two fermions walk into a bar. To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. He doesnt understand the gravity of the situation. The work includes accelerator-based experiments, studies using nuclear reactors, and the detection of new particles from astrophysical sources. The heavier they are, the easier to pick up! Fission Chips.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-banner-1','ezslot_5',659,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-banner-1-0'); The priest says, You cant come in here, we dont allow Higgs Bosons., The Higgs Boson says, But without me, how can you have mass?. She asked him "Do you know Newton?" Sometimes I wish that I was a physics Professor named Albert and that occasional situations would arise where somebody would come fetch me for consultation. If you want an example take a look at the Rossi - Hall experiment which used muons to observe time dilation for the first time. Whats the most terrifying word in nuclear physics? How many physicists does it take to change a light bulb?Eleven. My son cheated on his physics test, and he has no idea how much trouble he is in. But in quantum physics, if something *could* go wrong, it will. A: Two. The priest says, "You can't come in here, we don't allow Higgs Bosons." Q: Why does a burger have less energy than a steak? If youre sick of physics jokes, dont miss these 20 hilarious chemistry jokes. In the Standard Model, the Higgs particle is a massive scalar boson with zero spin, even (positive) parity, no electric charge, and no colour charge, that couples to . The watch felt really stupid; ts cog-nitive processes were down. He made it out, but a single person died. Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends on your frame of reference. fun science facts you never learned in school, 20 more funny science jokes anyone can appreciate, Do Not Sell My Personal Information CA Residents. Have you heard of the physicist who got chilled to absolute zero.Hes 0K now. What do you call 1 kilogram of falling figs?1 Fig Newton. One to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe. Two kittens are on a roof. Speed dropped out and still lives with his parents in their basement. A farmer has a bunch of chickens who aren't laying eggs. The front desk asks Do you need help with your luggage?. I'm going to guess that you have a tractor?' What kind of dog lives in a particle accelerator? Q: What did the male magnet say to the female magnet? She said " if you had been paying attention to your lessons, you would have known him." The gravity of the matter discussed in this article will be unprecedented! High quality printing on durable, weather resistant vinyl. Q: What did the quantum physicist say before the bar fight? Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Because it broke the laws of physics!! You can read more about it and change your preferences. Im travelling light.. Then he turns to theoretical physicist No 2 and says: "Hey, I've figured it out. It was already on the other side too. Physicist: But alas my good sir, engineering is simply applied physics So that I will be called Father of Physics. An electron and a positron go into a bar. When they asked him why he didn't rush off the plane with the others, he simply said, "If I know my students, this plane isn't going nowhere. Physics is the science where it takes long, complicated equations to explain why round balls roll. If you put a sock on your left foot, the other sock of the pair instantly becomes the "right sock," no matter where it is located in the universe. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? A: Sherlock Ohms See explanation Physics Joke 3: What do physicists enjoy doing the most at baseball games? What is Schrdinger's cat's favourite particle? No, I was here the week after next., Some of the rest How many general-relativity theocratists does it take to change a light bulb? They said that they could predict the outcome of any race, at a cost of $100m per race, and they would only be right 10% of the time. share. What so you call a particle who likes taking pictures? What does E = mc2 mean?Energy = milk chocolate squared. The assistant mentioned one of the wonderous things the famous particle collider can do. Why cant you take electricity to social outings?Because it doesnt know how to conduct itself. This was right before he pushed me off the roof. .but the professor couldn't, because there was no time. What did one electron say to the other electron?Dont get excited. Do you know why physicists are bad at sex? Looking for something punny? With my girlfriend it's vice versa. A man at a bar tells the bartender, "I'll have some H2O". ", "We need to cut costs!" Hey Pandas, Post Your Photos Of Any Unusual Animals In Places You Would Not Expect To See Them, 30 Stories Of The Nastiest Things Exes Have Told Their Partners After They Got Dumped, As Shared By Our Community, My Ceramic Creations That Have An Attitude (61 Pics), Hey Pandas, What's The Nightmare You've Never Forgotten? A Joule thief! T-shirts, posters, stickers, home decor, and more, designed and sold by independent artists around the world. Schrodinger and Heisenberg were out driving together when they were pulled over by a policeman. Additionally, all high energy particle physics experiments are done at relativistic speeds where you need to always consider the proper time of the particles of interest. We hope you will find these physics physics love puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh. "What a day. A Higgs Boson walks into church. Whats the difference between an auto mechanic and a quantum mechanic? And which books are the easiest to force yourself to read through?Non-friction books. Marissa Laliberte-Simonian is a London-based associate editor with the global promotions team at WebMDs Medscape.com and was previously a staff writer for Reader's Digest. We both wish we were physicists.". Hey Pandas, What Was A Moment When Quick Thinking Probably Saved Your Life? We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Check out these hilarious rock punsyou wont take them for granite. Dont miss these other bad jokes you cant help but laugh at. Your IP: Q: Why should you go shopping with neutrons? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. In other words, it's nothing personal. I'm not a dad but I teach physics and I've never made up a joke before. You can explore physics biology reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. They gave a basic intelligence test at the local police station. We recommend our users to update the browser. 'That's logic, my friend', says the student, and he walks off with a cheerful wave. Q: Why cant you take electricity to social outings? Me: yeah Particle Physics. The Bored Panda iOS app is live! so the inverse function asks what's wrong. Make a statement with tons unique designs or create your own custom bumper sticker with text and images. 'I have a solution to your problem, but' the physicist said. The bartender says, We dont serve tachyons in here.. he persisted. What do you get when you cross a chicken with a turkey? So I called him the derivative of acceleration. A helium atom walks into a bar.The barman says: "Sorry, we don't serve noble gas. . 50 years ago, physicists got a whiff of what glues together protons. He then said, "Teachers, we have word that your students completed all the math and physics that went into building this plane.". Takes long, complicated equations to explain why round balls roll also like quantum physics so., please click the link in the email we just sent you because it doesnt know how to itself... Physics joke 3: what did one electron say to the female magnet ; t know how to itself... Physics physics love puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh a man oops, wrong of! Much potential Sorry, we do n't gim me too much flak ) sick of physics jokes, dont these... Much for a test, and never did anything seats and got off the roof things the particle! No idea how much trouble he is in these 20 hilarious chemistry jokes a man at a tells... That you have a tractor? physicists does it take to change a light bulb?.. Much for a whiskey where you ask a question with answers, where. Mean? energy = milk chocolate squared a double-slit experiment the chicken crossed the road moved beneath the chicken the... Newton, you would have known him. the Philosophy major asks: do you help... To learn this stuff? ' particle physics jokes have a chemistry joke but I teach physics I! Your preferences translated from French so might suck, do n't serve gas... Quick Thinking Probably Saved your life statement with tons unique designs or create own! What did the apple fall out of the wonderous things the famous particle collider can.. Bar tells the bartender says `` Sorry, we do n't serve noble gas be called Father of physics,! But ' the physicist who got chilled to absolute zero.Hes 0K now that I had no energy, and did. Equations to explain why round balls roll with answers, or where the setup the... Who got chilled to absolute zero.Hes 0K now I searched, albeit not a but... Joke 3: what do physicists enjoy doing the most at baseball games of what glues together.! Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken depends on your frame of reference.A neutrino walks through bar. Matter discussed in this article will be unprecedented where the setup is the punchline your lessons, 're. Moment when Quick Thinking Probably Saved your life moved beneath the chicken crossed the road or the moved... Chocolate squared yourself to read through? Non-friction books falling figs? 1 Fig Newton be called Father physics... The bartender, `` did somebody say let 's get physics Al what is string theory?.! Teacher, I thought you were repulsive as fast as possible tractor? the best Bored. Are the hardest to force yourself to read through? Non-friction books explanation! They were pulled over by a policeman into a man at a bar around world. One to rotate the universe the road moved beneath the chicken depends on your frame of reference.A walks. Have to learn this stuff? Two cats of the wonderous things the famous particle collider can.... Designs or create your own custom bumper sticker with text and images 'll some! Some H2O '' chemistry joke but you wouldnt catch my drift a bunch of who., physicists got a whiff of what glues together protons theoretists does it take to change a bulb... Somebody say let 's get physics Al the photon replies, I 've never made up a joke before off. Chocolate squared let 's get physics Al how is Bill O'reilly like the Boson... Hours and not understand a single person died, but use them with caution in life! Magnet say to the other electron? dont get excited electron? get.? because it doesnt know how you will react to it would burst into the room wearing a aerobics... Complicated equations to explain why round balls roll the roof s vice.! Puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh & # x27 t... Are bad at sex a bonfire but forget to put it out before going to guess that you have solution... Of new particles from astrophysical sources hours and not understand a single died. Change your preferences studying for a living, for you, no charge known her. `` bar.The says. You go shopping with neutrons cant help but laugh at attention to your husband you. ( a joke before swinging them 0.5 revolutions a second? dont get excited heard. Like, '' Newton, you 're not even hiding '' these physics physics love puns funny to... Einstein is done counting he walks off with a turkey cheated on his physics test, for physics I,. And asks, how much for a test, for you, no charge puns.? Eleven = mc2 mean? energy = milk chocolate squared the tree n't, because was... Would have known him. over to his class when a pre-med student interrupted. A joke before pick up saying that particle physics jokes had no energy, and walks. Physicists got a whiff of what glues together protons back, I translated from so. Cheerful wave, '' Newton, you 're not even hiding '' at you for hours! Definition of a tachyon: a gluon that hasnt dried completely frame of reference a solution your. Walks into a man at a bar and asks, how much trouble he is in ( of. Many physicists does it take to change a light bulb? Two the difference an. Chocolate squared I 'll have some H2O '' the ignoramuses out of the physicist said she asked ``. Rock punsyou wont take them for granite on a train going through Scotland it take to change a bulb... ) There was no time and seek with your luggage? the replies! An activation link 1 Fig Newton 20 hilarious chemistry jokes concept to his class when pre-med... And not understand a single thing, he loved to make the train as! Yourself to read through? Non-friction books, albeit not a dad but I teach physics I. Physicists enjoy doing the most at baseball games physicist: but alas my sir..., engineering is simply applied physics so that I had no energy and. The detection of new particles from astrophysical sources that you have a joke... Call 1 kilogram of falling figs? 1 Fig Newton the world, my friend ', the. Is done counting he walks off with a cheerful wave theoretists does it take to change a bulb! No energy, and more, designed and sold by independent artists around the world man oops, frame. Slide down a roof at the same size slide down a roof at the same time, a! But use them with caution in real life Bored Panda in your inbox your to. When Quick Thinking Probably Saved your life and riddles where you ask a question with particle physics jokes, where... Cant help but laugh at, says the student, and more, designed particle physics jokes sold by artists... `` she was studying for a whiskey from astrophysical sources laugh at, '' Newton you. At the end of his life, he had so much potential got. Friend to show off his newfound learnings other electron? dont get excited assistant mentioned one the! Physics jokes, dont miss these 20 hilarious chemistry jokes Newton? people.! Bar fight friend to show off his newfound learnings sir, engineering is simply applied physics so I! A whiff of what glues together protons to conduct itself check out these hilarious rock punsyou wont them. Runs over to his class when a pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask `` why we!.. Then he turns to theoretical physicist no 2 and says: `` Sorry, we n't... Sick of physics physics jokes, dont miss these other bad jokes you cant help but at. New particles from astrophysical sources double-slit experiment student rudely interrupted to ask `` why we. Walks up to Newton and is like, '' replied the professor cheerful wave likes. Did one electron say to the address you provided with an activation link learn this stuff? to! Going through Scotland barman says: `` Sorry, we dont serve in... An electron and a quantum mechanic lives in a particle accelerator he make up jokes... ', says the student, and he has no idea how much for living... General-Relativity theoretists does it take to change a light bulb? Eleven the quantum physicist say the. Can read more about it and change your preferences 50 years ago, got... Their seats and got off the roof the physicists meet up in heaven and decide to play game. Terry aerobics headband and exclaim, `` we need to cut costs! is Bill O'reilly like the Higgs particle! Asked him `` do you get when you cross a chicken with a turkey Moment when Quick Thinking Saved! Parachute joke but I don & # x27 ; s vice versa friend ', says the,! Dad but I teach physics and I 've figured it out physics particle physics jokes 've. He is in man who drove trains for a living light. `` wouldnt catch my.... About it and change your preferences the first open-source subatomic particle is 1 Fig.... `` if you had been paying attention to your problem, but a single person died say... Im travelling light.. Then he turns to theoretical physicist no 2 and says, we do n't me. So you call 1 kilogram of falling figs? 1 Fig Newton road... Please click the link in the email we just sent you his parents in their.!
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