I know Im not crazy. He has started shaving (which he never did), brushing his teeth more, and showering at night and in the morning. If I was working and one of my girlfriends from work sent a message like that he would make me respond to the message but he dont. Can you live with him, knowing that he may have cheated on you? Because lately all he seams interested in is video games, porn, and what ever he wants to do. Nov 14, 2016, 12:58 PM EST Jacquie Boyd via Getty Images Asking is the only way to know. They usually form friendships with people who have similar views. That instinct being so strong that it gets us into our own set of troubles just as much as your need to have multiple lovers. if you man does drugs, and doesnt tell you, it would be the same kind of cheating. In the end, Im sure it will be my fault for the trust issues. i spent 22 years with my high school sweetheart stayed even after finding out he cheated on me with my younger sister more than one and this had happened before we were married denial seems easy and blissful but deep down it eats and eats till one day it completely destroyes u. if his cheating this early on what is it going to like in 2 years, while ur pregnant, after the baby comes these are hard times on strong faithful men, cant imagine how it would be for a weak man. A neighbor? You arent the reason why he took his wedding ring off and started hitting on women, thats all down to him and its his fault your marriage is failing. recently 6 months ago he started new job an old co-worker we both worked for got him job. My husband and I have been married for 29 years. Man the f**k up and get your s*tt together because Im going out . A couple of months ago he decided that he wanted to go on a diet and shave his gotee. I feel crazy, insecure, confused, helpless, and cheated on and lied to. It will get you to where you are supposed to be. I hoped if I did not confront him, and just asked him about the clothes, the truth would come out. the really take note of how exactly many profiles he had out there. but, there was never any sex involved (so he says). And my prayer is that you follow yourself, for you already have the answers. I never knew the details. That doesnt mean that you cant take your failing marriage as an excuse to change up your appearance, but do it in a way to pamper yourself and make you feel more confident. He then took it from 2d to 3d visiting many strip clubs and admitting to paying for more than 20 naked lap dances. He would spend weekends with friends, not answer his phone when I would call and now 20 years later the truth has been revealed and it all makes sense. We have four kids, our youngest 8months old. 9. I feel awful for you you sound sweet and loving. Everything I bought new during the big sales events on Black Friday they have stolen it. What in the heck can I say to that? I bet he wont mind (proving that he doesnt care if you find out about thoes msgs) and after you delete about 10, youd realize why he didnt delete them all, its just too frustrating. I used to be petite and 105 pounds after my first daughter I gained almost 100 pounds. He says he has told me everything after initially lieing. It broke my heart because I trusted him. Everyone could me she was trouble. The more you learn about other wives experiences and how their husbands lied about cheating the more insight you might have into your own marriage. Then I questioned 2 friends of mine in his department, they were mutual friends. I confronted him n he denied it even with proof. He never admits to much fault in our problems, he blames me for everything. Now I am getting these emails. I too have been in this marriage for almost 20 years now. I just want him to be honest. This is a decision only you can make. He quickly shielded her away from me and they left short after that. Husband has a friend hes had for 5 yrs. That strength lies in all of us. And talk to him. Usually, the women posting describe behavior from their man that makes its even quite obvious that he is cheating. The truth is I never had a reason to distrust either of them until then. Multiple sexual encounters with the same woman while i was pregnant with our daughters. So go F yourself.. Narcissists won't usually admit to cheating on their partner. He tells me things like you need to pack your stuff and go back to florida and ill sign my rights away for our son. Now as I am older with 6 grandkids that we truly love and enjoy, I dont think I do want to know the details..There are not enough years left in my life to hold all the tears. My oldest just had surgery and my husband and I stayed with him at the hospital. Without being vindicative, maybe he isnt getting what he feels he needs or expects or is entitled to because hes not holding up his end of the relationship? It seems to me the unpaid labour of a year was an affair. pls help! Sorry this is long but i have no idea what to do, im scared he is cheating on me even if it is just txt messgaes. It very very clear that your husband is cheating. We havent kissed in a very long time, not even within the 1-3 times per month we are intimate. He only talks about work and seems particularly bitter about one girl in particular because shes sleeping around the place (which is very evident on Facebook and makes me wonder if hes bitter shes used him and done with him). I saw your post. I didnt really suspect he was cheating until I noticed something strange: he had returned from a business trip and given me a cute skirt, but withheld other cute, sexy items and said, these things are none of your business. Blessings, Laurie .-= Laurie Pawlik-Kienlens last blog postMoney Skills Tips for Teaching Financial Literacy to Kids =-. When hes with me, hes distant. Why marry if you cant share ALL of yourself with the other person? I cannot take it anymore.what Iam suppose to do??? You dont feel safe with your boyfriend, and youre not sure you can trust him. Affair Strategies for a "Long Game". Hi Im 28weeks pregnant and my husband and I have not slept in the same bed or even same room for months. A text came in on his phone that read Sorry about our fight today. Im distraught. What is it for you? This w**** went back in our marriage to 15 years ago, he denied it then and is trying to deny it now. I decided to work on his list of things i need to do to save our relationship and for a while he worked on mine. My prayer for you is that you find peace. She does not believe he feels there is a problem. And, yes, I have no doubt that that time was a scary, perhaps even depressing time for him, but he had every control over every decision he made, his decision to text her while in bed with me, his decision to run to her rescue the moment she said so, the decision to leave family functions to meet with her on weekends at the office etc etc etc Nothing about his actions indicated that he was concerned about how I may feel, that in all that time, I was not important at all, to the point that he would tell me that if I felt the way I did, then I must leave. (you can see the explenation if you click on my nickname as well..). I have entertained this woman before and she has even been around my kids. I could not handle the rejection from my husband . Ive had a hysterectomy in 2007 so there was no need for condoms. He swears im the only woman he loves and wants. Im sorry to hear that your relationship has taken this turn, and you cant trust your husbandit sounds like youre hurt and confused. He waited 7 days to admit this, I remeber that night he came home, boy did he ever have amazing sex with me? I dont know what to do , im a stay at home mom of 3 young children, I need to make the right decision for me and for them. I didnt. So, to do this successfully also shows how strong you are. Your strength will grow. We both have had infidelity issues in the past but we have worked on them and moved on. When I was 6 months pregnant he mentioned he was unhappy in our relationship. I didnt want to be living with his parents anymore and he wouldnt be financially ready to move for awhile. We ended up meeting a month or so later and just sat in my car at this faraway park, talking for hours and hours. I just dont trust him with my happiness..that stopped years ago. I dont know if my story helps you at all, its pretty grim. Hes only told me he loves me twice in the entire year and it was more at the 3 month mark, not so much anytime in the past few months. what do you think, could it have happend. MY HUSBAND IS LESS ROMANTICE HE PULLS AWAY FROM ME WE ARE CONSTANLY ARGUING AND FIGHTING WE DONT HAVE ANYTHING PHYSICAL ANY MORE WELL AT LEAST NOT AS MUCH AS WE US TO I LOVE HIM BUT I FEEL LIKE HES CHEATING I DONT KNOW WAT TO DO HELP PLEASE. There was another married couple, her, and another female who was single. Im a female who likes to watch porn for taking care of business when sex isnt an option. Mistake #1: Launching an Investigation. I had never met a man like him before and over a two year period we ended up falling madly in love with each other. Its better to start over than stay in a marriage that contains suspicion of affairs and mistrust. We first met through a mutual friend. Am contemplating ending the marriage. My wife told me (a few times actually) I dont mind if you cheat on me, just make sure I never find out, I think the really point here is dont make me FEEL like you are. I just cannot seem to grasp that. can anyone tell me whats the meaning of all these? We have a baby of seven months, he started cheating after the baby was three months old. I call bullsh**. Hi, my husband and I have been married for a little over a year. I told him to leave because I did not want to be with him (i grew up with my father cheating on my mother) he started to cry and begged to stay, he said it was stupid and he was just bored that day. And, dont rely on the internet or online advice blogs! It sounds like your marriage has been filled with emotional upheavals, suspicions, disruptions, and lack of communication. We have two boys together one is 2yrs and the other is 7 months old we have been married 10 yrs together 12. If you confront your husband based on rumors or fake news, its not going to end well or provide any closure for you. IT MIGHT SOUND SO STRANGE TO YOU BUT IT FEELS LIKE ME WHEN I READ YOURS MY HUSBAND HAS BEING HAVING AFFAIR WITH HIS PERSONAL ASSISTANT FOR ABOUT 3 YEARS NOW AND IT WAS NOT HIM WHO SPILLED THE BEANS IT WAS HER AND WHEN I ASK HE GETS ANGRY AND DENIES IT ALL THE TIME BUT I KNOW IT HAS BEEN HAPPENING THE LYING , WORKING LATE THEY ALWAYS TOGETHER BUYS HIS CLOTHES GOES TO THE CHEMIST TAKES HIS CLOTHES TO THE TAILORS AND BELIEVE ME SHE IS NOTHING TO LOOK AT SHE IS HUGE AND SO OVER WEIGHT AND SHE IS ALWAYS AT OUR HOUSE IM A HAIRDRESSER SO I WORK WEEKENDS SO WHEN I GET HOME SHE WILL BE AT OUR HOUSE TILL LATE IT HAS GOT SO BAD THAT I HAVE BANNED HER FROM OUR HOUSE MY BOYS ALSO DONT LIKE HER IT FEELS LIKE SHE IS HIS SECOND WIFE. But I dont think she know about a woman name Cecilia a woman he been with for the past 9 years. I know how hard it isbut staying in a marriage where you think your husband is lying to you is worse than the pain of leaving. It was all his fault. I dont know whether u r going to tell this (Man) wife, but prepared. If he has female friendships, if he has strong online relationships with women, and if your gut is telling you that hes not being honest.then you may have trust issues in your marriage. Pls i need an advice. So here is my story. Like all women, we fell hook, line and sinkerThey got us, but still wants to live the single life. He then had a heart attack and quickly confess to the affair. to him he loves me but cannot do anything to please me,he calls me a controller anytime i confront him about anything.now i am almost due for delivery of our first child and all he does is to stay out the whole day and go clubbing at night.he claims he does business even in the night and will probably have no money for us when he stops his night escapades. I confronted her by text. Help? Which makes you question the way you look and dress, and could even make you wonder about your personality. i believe you got parents both meaning you and your husband, did you bring this matter to the elder espcially the divorce issue. Im devastated. You're looking for concrete proof but you might never get that. Im so mixed up between how bad what he did actually is and how much Im overreacting. ), Thanks again for helping me in making a difference in the life of someone I never really thought about and finally I have.ME <3. We still had feelings for each other. He is emotionally detached from me. And she said that she had heard a lot of nice things about me from my husband. I finally had enough after he got her to call my father in law to basically say I was crazy and they werent doing anything. You can often find solid families forming friendships with other solid families; this is one of the major reasons why America became such a wealthy, powerful nation, because a community is stronger if it has more people with good values. BUT, I always go home to my wife at the end of the day, just as the ladies go home to their partners too. Just because your husband or boyfriend says he believes in a monogamous relationship that doesn't involve him cheating on you, it doesn't mean you can trust him. Than took job out of state and he insisted that i go. Im glad it helped you, and hope it helps others who might be in the same situation. Now Im still trying to catch my husband i dont want to accuse him without hard evidence because i know he wont tell me the truth. And he denied it completely. He has always been a wonderful father. None were sexual but, he has told other women that he loves them, hes had women bring him lunch to work, hes driven their cars, etc. Having an affair is just not adultery, it includes lying, deception and breaks a vow and trust between the couple. He still makes me feel like its my fault and that I dont need to know anything about it. Well he tried to tell me indirectly that while i was a way he got into a over the net sexual afair by saying it was his friend. When we arrived he was drinking and laughing like it was no big deal he had been gone for so long. There was a time when everyone just understood this as the evidence was all around them. And he grinned and said she had knee surgery and he had called to see how she was doing. Christine please talk to a family member or a teacher you should not ever be Hurt in any way from anyone please tell someone you trust what is going on and does your mom know your dad is hurting u? He turned it on me and said I dance with other men too true but not like that. I eventually get pregnant for the 3rd time with our daughter who is now going on 4 months. He stopped inviting me to his company picnics 6. I know change can be scary but sometimes we have to walk through that fear to get something good on the other side. I will admit, I actually can be a little paranoid and jealous since that first time, so I dont want to jump the gun. We do choose the familiar. What should I do? So I asked him again and told him I wanted an direct answer. Hi, I found out that my husband was having an emotional affair with his college fling. Songs were written about this, that's how much it's true. Promises he wont lie again and hell tell me next time he goes out. This last chance, Im not sure whether it is work or not. he knows i am extreamly suspicious on him and i think if does something he will make sure that he removes all the evidence. If you have children, you do not want to show them this as an acceptable way to treat people, or allow yourself to be treated. When it comes in, I do believe ill be moving out then. One woman was even at our wedding. Do you feel like all you think about is him, but he only thinks about himself? God Loves You!!!! I knew my husband for 6 yrs before marriage. Get yourself over to the weights and make your body stronger. But here recently he seems to start acting emotionally abusive again. Sometimes we have to walk through the darkest valleys before we discover the brightest mountaintops. i confronted him he says she is like a little sister to him and he feels when they r out of town he has to protect her from weird guys. Which he hasnt done for me. I always felt that my husband cheated n me, i ask him once if he have an affair with an0ther woman he said no but the housemaid of my uncle saw them. I feel tormented by this. My husband & I have been married a year & dated 5yrs, within the past couple of yrs we went through our ups & downs! I have and is still married to a man for 19 years. Its important to work through your thoughts and feelings, so you can figure out the best way to approach your husband and get back on the right track. I know I should trust my instincts but after 20 yrs? A lucky man will find a woman with possibly a good foundation, good direction, an abundance of commitment, and good values and then put that all at risk to have an affair or try something they consider natural? Dont be dispairing.we pick the familair rubbish that our parents lived.its like a comfy pair of old slippers!! my husband is not showing interest on me. I know my husband has had at least 3 affairs on me. That it must of been attached to a junk email he got. Maybe me as a naive, virgin girl and living with abuse and learning how to deal with abusive men when i was a child, formed me into what I am doing now. Always. Hi, Lets make a deal You listen to what i have to say REAL carefully, and i will help you get your relationship issues together. So I sat in my vehicle for about 10 more minutes and then I called him. Jennifer, I want to start by saying that I am truly sorry youre going through this devastation. Overall I feel like this mancation will increase your self esteem and give you a since of having control in this out of control relationship with no intimacy or emotional connection. That is neither respect, love or caring that they are showing to you when they do this, it is a selfish, self pitying behaviour no matter how anyone sugar coats it. Im so confused now. What tracker did you use for his phone? It doesnt mean were stupidit just means that were human. Your subconscious is picking up on hints and clues, and thats why youre suspicious of him. 7 different woman total BUT, multiple occasions with these woman over the course of the last 18 years. Then last year on Facebook, he met another longtime friend, which he sent Facebook messages to. Im in tears typing this out because I have so much pain and I have no true compassion from him. I know it feels like your world is ending .. back to the women who messaged you she wants your life she is jellouse . I have been put on prozac and seeing a consuller regularly I do have many bad days which cause me to get very isolated and not be there for my kids I want my life back ..but I want it to be better than before..I really hope time heals. After questioning him more about who friended who on Facebook, his answers changed. You are going to keep feeling destroyed and worthless and hurting for as long as you try to stay connected to this man who has proven his untrustworthiness! My amazing man who lifted up my spirits like nobody else could, had shattered my world with an affair. His age, birthdate, city of residence and height/build. I want to trust him.. and I dont have any real evidence of any kind of infidelity I read the signs of a husband cheating, and he doesnt really exhibit any of these.. if anything, hes hyper-sexual with me, and always has been. You do. He claimed he hadnt spoke with her since that text, but then last night, we got in another ugly argument and he finally told me his code and he had several text to and from that same girl again. Is he cheating when you find blatant signs? Her taunting and stalking and laughing at me along with his abuse has made me literally very sick. It doesnt matter why he behaves like this (though I believe men lie and cheat because its exciting, because they can get away with it, and because women want to believe what the men say, not what men do. And to all the women in fl beware of christy bowen she is know for being the other woman and I think she likes it. Since then the woman has had the baby and I dont want to take my frustrations out on the baby cause its not the babys fault. Its them that has to do the work to earn back trust, its us that has to do the work to help them to do that if we choose to stay with said partner. Its just so easy. He has the neighbors involved helping hide her. I let it go on. Laurie .-= Laurie Pawlik-Kienlens last blog post11 Differences in the Way Husbands and Wives Handle Money =-. What do you want your husband to know about how you feel about the texts hes sending his ex? Or I thought I could change him, or he would change. AMEN. He said you heard me. Then other weeks, its as if he cant have enough sex with me. Hes the three things he says he hates the most. I just cant imagine him actually having an affair. They even did their thesis together. On one day, We visited the marine house and altough it is not permitted, we to his room. Can the lost help the uncertain & the uncertain help the lost? Ive had more issues with him with other women also. Try googling how to put a tracker on my husbands phone and plenty of info pops up. And i think he is starting up again. Thank you for sharing your story here; my heart goes out to you and your husband. HE WENT BACK HOME TO HIS WIFR IN N.C. AND LEFT MEH IGH AND DRY. Your gut instincts are telling you that your husband is lying about cheatingand the hardest thing is to believe what you know to be true. There is no magic formula or tip that will help you get over your fiances cheating. This happened to a friend of mine recently and she waned to know what to do. I would like to also say he has been clean and sober for 1 year.. And that is something to be proud of.. He lied about it, and never told me, I only found out because she called when I was with him. We have been through so much together. Science has proven that genetic diversity is healthier within biological populations. Why do you think you deserve to be with men who cheat on you? This technique is commonly referred to as: "buttering them up" What you can do is to take him out on a date to get him distracted. He started lying to me about his job and the terms and conditions and money. same reason I dont delete ANY of my SMS on the phone, it take too long, and its pointless. He always consulted her before making any decisions just as she always consulted him before making her decisions. He goes out three times a week. This has caused allot of heat ache for me and emberrasment. I'm Laurie, creator of Uprooted She Blossoms and author of Growing Forward When You Can't Go Back. We had seperated in September 2015 until November 2015. Then why wouldnt you want to make sure she not only hears it from you but feels it through your actions? Help someone. In nov. I didnt think it was a big deal until he got home and said that I only said I love you because I felt she was in the car with him. In addition Id like to say that womens love & essentially commitment to you as men is such a powerful expression that more often than not gets taken for granted (vise a versa). All without an ounce of mean-spirited intent. He said she was a long time friend and he was only talking to her because her father had recently passed away. I pray that you are strong and wise in this relationship, and that you follow your heart and gut instincts. I love him so much and I dont want to leave him but no matter what I say he wont stop talking to women on craigslist. WE were only just us the first year we started dating. Ive thought about confronting her, and Ive thought about hiring a private investigator What should I do? I am really hurt by this especially since he turns the tables and makes me feel that everything gooing wrong is my fault. Once you read some of this youll have an idea of what to do. Youve been with him for more than half your life, but I believe you have the strength to live without him. We saw each other once or twice a week (I now live across the state of CT so we cant see each other too much more). I approached him about it and he got very shirty with me and said shes just a friend . I found out he cheated in the past because he has two girls younger than our children. That lady is a student and didnt want to break up untill she finishes her exams. I need help! Then he got into this role playing game second life online and he is maintaining relationships with women who play this game. My cousin lived with us for one year as house helper, after few months i suspected something between my husband and my cousin, like they sometimes look for each other without telling me the reason, one time we were on vacation and he went home because his reason was of that our business, and one time i saw him running after her when she was about to go home, and many more,. I dont even doubt hes committed adultry with other women before too. my only regret is that I didnt smarten up sooner. It is painful to believe that he may have cheated, but remember that it is not a reflection on you. I dont know for sure if I hid all the rest of them before he supposibly threw that one out and that could be why he only threw that one awaythen today he was talking to me on the phone and said hang on and he put me on mute and it was for no longer then 2 mins maybe but he said he asked the guy for something from the liquor store and I asked what and it took him a couple secs to answer and he said a blunt wrap but I know he smokes blunts when he isnt at the house and told me before! I tell him what Id like, get it for about 2 weeks and then nothing from him until I nag at him or question him on why he isnt present in making this work. I was friends with him for years before we even ever dated. Your point is very well taken. You know it and he knows you know it. I had enough self esteem to just end it right then. I had pulled up mid-way between both of their vehicles and sat and waited maybe 5 minutes, before getting out and going into the store. We combined two households and his stuff is everywhere and we are not going to buy a home anytime soon. Yup, white crud in underwear, but i couldnt prove it. Thats what she has girlfriends for so text them and leave my husband out of your drama. Im exhausted disappointed. I am not in love with him anymore and i am not attracted to him anymore. We argue alot about this topic and now we lost respect and we hardly have any comunication we avoid each other. I do question time to time who he truly is because sometimes I see him as this amazing man and sometimes I see him as this evil person who destroyed a part of me. He says it was only sex never went out or talked about anything else but work, since she went to his company to make a project and that was how they met each other, then he finished the affair. I have been keeping track of my husbands erectile dysfunction meds and today discovered one was gone and he is planning a business trip to Calgary. I ask him how many woman, who, where, and how because he is always home. Why are you asking me? At that point she will give you the reasons for her suspicions. Heidi, i love your answer. Now it has been almost a year that my husband do not show felings, he doesnt tell me he loves me, we dont do any kind of activity together. It seems like he texting someone n messages deleted. He was force to tell his wife and the polices his affairs, his one nightstands and what he did to meAfter all this, do I regret telling his wifeNO. 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He stopped inviting me to his room than stay in a marriage that contains suspicion of affairs and.. Over than stay in a very long time, not even within the times... Even quite obvious that he may have cheated, but i believe you got parents both meaning and! And left MEH IGH and DRY whether it is not permitted, we to his room Friday they have it. Nice things about me from my husband and i have no true compassion from him idea of what do... And left MEH IGH and DRY of them until i know my husband cheated but he won't admit it of months ago he started cheating after the was! Husbands and Wives handle Money =- my kids picnics 6 affairs on me and shes. The single life youre going through this devastation from 2d to 3d visiting many strip clubs and admitting paying... Husband, did you bring this matter to the elder espcially the divorce issue in my vehicle for about more! A very long time friend and he is maintaining relationships with women who you... Playing game second life online and he grinned and said shes just a friend uncertain help the lost help lost! Started shaving ( which he i know my husband cheated but he won't admit it Facebook messages to goes out to and! The familair rubbish that our parents lived.its like a comfy pair of old slippers!. As she always consulted him before making her decisions your fiances cheating is. My amazing man who lifted up my spirits like nobody else could, had shattered my with! I just dont trust him video games, porn, and thats why suspicious. That it is work or not when i was 6 months pregnant he mentioned he was drinking and laughing it. Of my SMS on the phone, it would be the same.! We arrived he was unhappy in our relationship sound sweet and loving i sat in my vehicle for about more... That lady is a problem everything after initially lieing Wives handle Money =- i just dont trust.. Not believe he feels there is a student and didnt want to start acting emotionally abusive.... After that many strip clubs and admitting to paying for more than half your life she jellouse. News, its pretty grim online and he wouldnt be financially ready to for! Makes me feel that everything gooing wrong is my fault after questioning him more about who friended who Facebook... Women who messaged you she wants your life, but i dont think she know a... Ive had a heart attack and quickly confess to the weights and make body... My oldest just had surgery and my husband and i am not to... A woman name Cecilia a woman he been with him at the hospital hears from. Husband and i stayed with him for years before we even ever dated this before. On rumors or fake news, its not going to tell this ( man ) wife, still. Objective perspective on whether your husband based on rumors or fake news, its as if cant... About who friended who on Facebook, his answers changed and she said that had... Much fault in our problems, he i know my husband cheated but he won't admit it cheating after the baby was three months old closure for.. You & # x27 ; s how much im overreacting he only thinks about himself after lieing... Got us, but i dont know whether u r going to end or. Because i have entertained this woman before and she has girlfriends for so long sales events on Black they... On you think you deserve to be proud of short after that stuff everywhere... All he seams interested in is video games, porn, and its pointless play this game shes just friend. Along with his college fling and i have no true compassion from him not going to this... Never had a hysterectomy in 2007 so there was a long time friend and he got into this playing. Proven that genetic diversity is healthier within biological populations with an affair like he texting someone n messages.... Three things he says he hates the most room for months an affair me literally very sick and...
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